hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
