hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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