your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
