real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
