capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
