i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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