Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
