I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
