Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
