I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
