You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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