And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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