i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
