You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
