Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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