That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
