You made me cry and you don't even care
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
