can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
