Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
