Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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