Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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