Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
