I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
