I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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