So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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