Small penises have feelings too.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I didn't notice because vodka
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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