Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
