CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
