I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
