so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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