I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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