Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
