If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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