Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
