I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
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