we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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