I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How external is "for external use only"?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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