Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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