remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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