Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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