you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
