this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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