did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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