I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
