Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
