This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
