Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
