he looks like a really good dad on facebook
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
