after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
