He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
