new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
