Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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